Monday, August 9, 2010

Somniloquists and Somnambulists

They run rampant in my family.

Case #1: My little brother walked down the stairs. My mom went to give him a hug goodnight. He looked at her as if she were about to plunge a knife through his heart and ran up the stairs as fast as he could. My mom and I exchanged befuddled glances. Two minutes later he saunters down the stairs, cool as a cucumber. We watched him get a glass out of the cupboard, fill it up with water from the kitchen sink, about face, and turn the cup upside down, watching all the contents splash onto the floor. He then hurled the empty glass into the garbage can. He then proceeded to take off his shorts. He threw them in the garbage can and sauntered back upstairs, pantless.

Case #2: I woke up late one night, sensing a scuffle in the hallway and hearing my mom plead, "No! No!" over and over. I ran into the hall to see what was wrong. I found her wrestling with my other little brother in the laundry room. Apparently, while in his sleep, he has mistaken the laundry room for the bathroom. He was fighting with her because he really had to go, and she was fighting against him for obvious reasons.

And then there is me. I walked. I talked. There are all kinds of stories my parents can tell you. I think I have outgrown the walking, but sadly, I have no control over what I say in my sleep.

I think the best story I ever heard is from a former roommate. She was on a family reunion campout and they had canoed that day. Her uncle stood up on his sleeping bag which was right in the middle of all the other sleeping relatives. He started making rowing motions with his arms. Then he dropped the 'oar' and yelled, "We're sinking! We're going to have to jump!" His wife yelled, "No! We are not sinking! We don't have to jump!" But he didn't hear. He bent his knees, sprang up into the air, and bellyflopped right onto his wife. Nobody got hurt. ;-)

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