Friday, July 10, 2009

Not My Strongest Suit

I have been job hunting. Which means, I've been suit hunting. Unfortunately, I am 5'3" and only slightly under 100 lbs. Even shopping for normal pants, I usually have three options: super baggy pants from the adult section that I have to bunch up with a belt, old lady super high waisted and high water pants from the extra petite section, or pants that fit but are funkily designed, pre-faded and/or have sequined bums from the junior's section.

Suits are even more difficult. I have very narrow shoulders, and as a small blonde woman who could pass as a 19-year old, I don't want to minimize my presence in an office even more by drowning myself in a suit. I tried the Banana Republic outlet and found some suits that fit, size Double Zero. But again, they were fairly expensive and the colors were all faded grays, which is probably why they were at the outlet. Most of the others had long tops and made me look like I had gotten cold and borrowed a man's top. I found a cute black jacket in the junior's section at the fashion mall that fit quite well and looked professional. Except for the shoulder pads, which gave me a football player wanna-be boxy appearance.

It tends to drive me crazy that women need to many types of clothes for so many different occasions. Church dresses, formal dresses, interview attire, professional attire, semi-casual attire, and don't even get me started on jewelry, shoes, nylons, hair styles, and make-up! It seems guys could wear the same suit, socks, and shoes with no accessories or hassle to all these occasions and be just fine - just take off the jacket and tie, unbutton a few buttons, and you are transformed from church/interview attire to professional or semi-casual.

I suppose I should be grateful for the amount of variety I am afforded in my life and wardrobe. And the amount of time and gas money shopping for this silly suit has sucked out of my recent life.

My Dream Job

I'd like to be a cryptozoologist. My definition of this profession would be searching for things that do not exist. I could get paid to hike in Minnesota in hopes of finding Bigfoot, or canoe around the Loch, or spend my life in other exotic locales.

But it's not just the shallow, adventure-hungry part of me that craves this job. The practical, comfort-seeking side of me yearns for the job security, and I can't think of a more secure job. They better not find Nessie before I make it there!

Thoughts on Slogan #4

I just googled "Slogan" to see what it would come up with. The first hit was called "Sloganizer." You type words into the box and it creates slogans for you.

I entered "electricity-generating merry-go-round" because that's what I've been marketing all year. Here are the first three it came up with.

1. "Electricity-generating merry-go-round Rules." Does that mean it's awesome or there are a lot of rules you need to abide by when you play on it?

2. "Don't mess with electricity-generating merry-go-round." I think I'll use this one on the website.

Next I decided I wanted my own personal slogan so I tried typing in my name. Here's what it came up with.

1. "Sarah Hall... whatever you want." I guess that means I'm either a pushover or chameleon.

2. "Sarah Hall Never Die." I like that one!!!

3. "Sarah Hall: To *heck* with the rest!"

4. "Don't forget your Sarah Hall."

5. "I trust Sarah Hall."

6. "Sarah Hall is Your Friend."

7. "Sarah Hall is Good for You." Wow, this is either a confidence boost or a brainwashing device.

8. "Sarah Hall: Yabba Dabba Duh!"

Next, I tried typing in my mom's name. Here are some that it came up with.

1. "Mary Hall: Be Ready."

2. "The Power of Mary Hall."

3. "Mary Hall is a Female Force."

4. "Mary Hall Keeps Going... and Going... and Going..."

5. "Mary Hall, Once you Have It, You Love It."

6. "There's Lots of Fun in Mary Hall."

7. "See you at Mary Hall." That must be a dorm building.

8. "Every Mary Hall has a Story." Is this referring to a person's life account or how tall the dorm building is?

Go ahead and Give it a try!

Thoughts on Slogan #3

Have you driven a Ford?

Growing up, my sisters and I had completely different understandings of this jingle. Maybe the singer didn't enunciate very clearly, or maybe the Hall girls just had hearing problems.

Lucy got it right: Have you driven a Ford lately?

I always thought it was: Have you driven a Ford Taxi? I couldn't understand why they would market to such a small proportion of the population - taxi drivers - during prime time.

Abby thought it was: Have you driven a Ford spacely?

Thoughts on Slogan #2

Iowa's Slogan(s)

Growing up in Iowa, our slogan was always "Iowa: You Make Me Smile." I thought it was a little cheesy, but didn't comment too much about it. After all, it is a true statement. And that smiley face on the billboard as you drive over the border was just darling.

However, in 1999, the new slogan changed to "Iowa: Fields of Opportunity." I was outraged! Fields of opportunity? We don't need to perpetuate corny (pardon the pun) Iowa jokes like that in official slogans! Iowa is so much more than just FIELDS! (Although, I admit, there are several gorgeous cornfields in Iowa).

We may as well be overt and change it to something like "Iowa: Corn capital of the world!" or use catchy rhymes such as: "Live work and play in a cornfield today!"

A slogan should highlight strengths, dispel common misconceptions, or increase appreciation of the unique. Examples below.

Celebrating our varied biomes - "Iowa: We Have Forests Too!"

Celebrating strengths - "Iowa: Our Schools are Better than Yours!"

Dispelling misconceptions: "Iowa: It's not as flat as you think!" or "I-O-W-A does not stand for Idiots Out Walking Around."

Advertising uniqueness - "Iowa: Highest radon concentration in the US!" or "Iowa: Breeder of future space captains!" or "Iowa: All Presidential Candidates Must Endorse Ethanol or they Won't Make it Past the First Caucus."

We could always rip off Field of Dreams and go with "Is this heaven? No, it's IOWA!"

Or a phrase from the music man. "Iowa: We say it, but we don't like anybody else to" or "Iowa: We are so stubborn we can stand touching noses for a week at a time and never see eye-to-eye."

Or, we could modify Paradise, California’s slogan to “Iowa: All it’s name implies.”

That's all I've got. Any other ideas?

Thoughts on Slogan #1

Slogan #1 - BYU: The World is Our Campus

One of my majors as an undergrad was international development. Until the program was cut. During my Swahili 201 class, we were discussing the calamity, and I sadly commented, "well, the world was our campus."

The others three students in the class clapped their hands and told me I was a genius, a reaction I was not expecting. Their respect for me seemed to skyrocket, as they had always considered me a little too preppy and straight laced. I like them a lot and they were my friends, but let me describe them a little to give you a clearer picture. The other two girls in the class had short, spiked hair and looked slightly intimidating. The boy was tall and skinny with long blonde hair. He wore tight pants and wouldn't tell us his real name, preferring to go by his Swahili name: Walialu (Wall-Lee-Ah-Lu). All wore ripped up jeans and denounced money in general, and anything that could be purchased with the filthy lucre. One of the girls even said if a boy ever bought her a diamond ring, she would end things forever and there would be no forgiveness.

The next time the class met they bragged about how they had sneaked out at night and scratched out the word "is," changing it to "was" on a BYU sign somewhere. I somehow felt guilty, as if I had contributed to the willful and malicious violation of public property. The lesson: Don't provide clever slogans to vandals, even if they are your friends.