Friday, August 3, 2007

BS in Scouting Education

So today I found out this was a major. Why didn't I know about it back in 2001? I decided to drop out of grad school and pursue a degree in Scouting Education. Why? I'll tell you.

1. There's nothing like a solid, paid profession with compensation, benefits, and the opportunity for advancement without having to wear a skirt into the office... or even having to be in an office with Excel spreadsheets burning holes into my eyes.

2. I can finally utter the phrase, "One time, at scout camp" around my male friends and follow up with a real story.

3. I can go to International Pow-Wows in New Zealand.

4. I can take courses in campfire management, and integrate my expansive Marriott School knowledge while munching marshmallows, crispy golden on the outside and full of delicious goodness within.

5. I'd bushwhack anyway... might as well get paid for it.

6. Plenty of opportunities to get my eyebrows blown off by pyromaniac teenagers. No more painful plucking.

7. I can quote the Scout Law to my sons, emphasizing the word, "OBEDIENT."

8. I was never allowed to be a Boy Scout before but if they keep me out of the major I can sue for gender discrimination under Title VII and get rich quick.

9. Hanging out with 12 year old boys all the time will give me a false sense of maturity.

10. I will find out that WEBELOS are not some kind of rare woodsie creatures, but an acronymn for "WE'll BE LOyal Scouts." Then I can make up a nifty acronymn for my own troop, like "DONLIMYHAFR!!!" pronounced very quickly, meaning "DON't LIght MY HAir on FiRe".

Wouldn't this be a fun job? I really think so.

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